Ten tips for avoiding arguments
- Remember that you love your partner.
- When you have a disagreement, talk about it as soon as possible in a soft, polite and loving manner.
- Don't accuse, judge, criticize, humiliate, embarrass or demean your loved one.
- Put the discussion on hold until later, especially if you're feeling frustration or anger growing. Take a step back from the situation if you can't resolve the conflict.
- Avoid scolding your partner for being himself or herself. Avoid attacking the opinions, the family, the ex or children, the physical appearance, the culture, the religion, etc., of the other.
- Say no to domestic or spousal violence. Physical, verbal, psychological or sexual violence is a crime, punishable by law. To talk to someone about it, call the Coalition Against Abuse in Relationships Inc. at 506-855-7222.
- No insults, threats or hands raised in anger. Respect the other in all your behaviours. Avoid manipulation.
- Know how to recognize your own shortcomings. Share the blame, when necessary. It serves no purpose to insist on proving that you're right. The essential is to resolve the problem.
- Don't ever argue in public, in front of those close to you, family or children. This doesn't mean that you can't express dissatisfaction; it just means that you must do so gently and calmly. When we begin to disrespect one another in front of people we love, we cross the line.
- Know when to apologize. In the moment, if you can, or later on. Don't hesitate to admit that you made a mistake, that you went too far, and that you're sorry.
As a partner in a couple, you can learn how to communicate efficiently and to express yourself in a kinder way, even in the heat of an argument.